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Dream of Beliefs

Seeking quiet corners
In the silence of the city
By day, by night,
Even in the stillness of late hours
I carried you.
To pursue, to court,
And finally, to know
If it was mine
Or ever would be.

I remember
Tossing, turning,
Muttering to myself,
Searching for signs
While gathering words.
Then, one rainy day,
I believed I had it.
The dream was mine.

Twenty years have passed
With the dream,
In another city,
Where silence and inner peace
Slip through my grasp.
Penury and ill-fortune
Trail me like shadows,
Reminding me
How fragile, how futile
The pursuit can be.

Often, I wonder:
Have I failed?
Is my back now pressed
Against the walls
Of this city,
Of life itself?

It is dreadful.
It is disheartening.
Yet I have nothing
But this dream:
A flickering flame,
A roaring inferno,
A monster trapped within.

I am no one
No titles, no claims,
Only belief to shield me,
And a longing
For a place in the world.

After all these years,
Oh, dream of mine
To possess you
Is to know who I am,
What I can be.
And still, you sit
Like a boulder
Inside my fragile self.

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